Its Just a Name

Gratitude and Dilemma.

Nearly every morning, my dad will tell me this: your going to be 19 this year, other people your age already in the university already and you are still in where? (You guys know where I am). I don’t know how long I must still work to support you until you fully go out and work full time. Nearly Every morning he just said that or just by looking at his aging face I do feel that immense pressure.

Although its personal but I still intend to blog it because it’s really the truth. I am actually very remorse for what I became and where I am right now. ( Notice the words I use ). I am here not trying to vent out whatever anger that is going on but to show my fullest gratitude to my dad. ( He won’t even have the chance to come across this ).

But its weird you know. I have no problem in expressing my gratitude to friends but when it comes to my dad. I really cannot express myself in front of him. ( Those who seen my dad should know what kind of person he is ) YET I still can’t express everything out.

I finally understand it’s not easy to make someone more matured and definitely not easy to pressurize someone constantly. It’s like cooking a roast duck, too hot it will become black, too cold it will be uncooked. ( Weird example huh? ). I am so tired already; I don’t know why I made myself to do this in the first place. There are a lot of issues in my life right now have one huge dilemma lingering over it.

Maybe it’s the mutual care for all friends that spark out such actions. But moment earlier, I understand and made a final decision. Sometimes in life, one must be self centered. It’s not how I wanted to be but the fact is it’s the society that has made one to be. I’m tired in explaining why society have made one to be such self centered, but those who really have experience a lot should know what I’m trying to express. If not just go and watch some discussion shows it will improve your insight more.

The ironical thing about me is that right now at this very moment I am listening to ( 我愿意 ) by Faye Wong! GEEZ! Those who know the lyrics should know that it’s entirely opposite from what I blog above. ( I guess the song lyric only applies to your loved ones huh? ).

Actually wanted to blog about something else but oh well I guess I blog tomorrow if possible. Anyway one last thing, I didn’t know that so many people actually viewed my blog, so here’s one sentence below to show my gratitude.

Thanks for the constant viewership support! Your presence is extremely important to me. So well that’s all!


~ouT